Sport

There are certain stereotypes about Australians that are simply accurate. They do say "G'day" and "No worries." They have phenomenal barbeques. And they are fanatics about sport ("Sport," not "sports").

In high school, in addition to P.E., it is compulsory for boys to play both a summer and a winter sport. I'm not sure whether this is the cause or they result of their love of sports. Although Australia mostly lacks the tradition American sports- baseball, football, basketball, and hockey, more attention is paid to what we typically view as periphery sports- soccre (called "soccer" here), volleyball, swimming, water polo, field hockey (called simply "hockey"), cyclingm and "athletics" (track and field). Not only that, but there are all sorts of sports that essentially don't exist in the US, including cricket, lawn bowling, two kinds of rugby, and, strangest of all, Australian Rules Football.

Within Australia there is a heated debate over the proper use of the word "footy" (short for "football"). Depending on where you're from and what you play, it can refer to rugby union, rugby league, or Aussie Rules. Rugby union is what the rest of the world knows simply as "rugby". The Australian national rugby team, the Wallabies, for instance, play rugby union. It also seems to be the most commonly played version in high school. Rugby league is a strictly Australian creation because, it seems, union simply wasn't aggressive enough. In union, for example, I don't believe you can should check, but in league you can. Also in league there are more pauses than in union. I don't actually know much about rugby in the first place, so anyone out there (cough, Gus) is welcome to correct me. It mostly seems like men jumping on one another to me.

On Thursday night I watched my first game of Australian Rules Football. We have 2 boys here from Melbourne and they are crazy about Aussie Rules, as most Victorians seem to be. The other fellows, from Queensland, New South Whales, and the Northern Territory are rugby fans and therefore totally dismissive of Aussie Rules, which they call "aerial ping pong." Truly, it is a very strange game. It is played on a HUGE oval field measuring about 200 x 100 m. At either end there are 4 posts forming 3 goals. Putting the ball through the center goal is worth 6 points and either side goal is worth 1. You can't run more than 15 steps (do people really count?) without either bouncing the ball to yourself or passing it. To pass the ball you have to either kick it or punt it like a volleyball- you can't throw it. The most absurd aspect of the game, though, it that each team has 21 players, with 18 of them on the field at once. 18! It looked like they let the spectators onto the field there were so many people thrashing about! Becase of the sheer number of players, lots of goals are scored in spite of the size of the field. When I left after the 3rd quarter the score was 33 to 36. There also seemed to be a dozen neon-clad refs to follow the chaotic movement on the field, although they didn't seem to do anything except announce goals. There don't seem to be any fouls, and why should there be? If one player gets dropped, the play simply moves to one of the other 17. At one point one of the players actually got pants and the play continued. Like I said, it's a very strange game.

The Melbourne boys, Mat and Sam, were eager to convert me to Aussie Rules, but I'm afraid I simply find it too ridiculous to take seriously. One thing that Mat pointed out, though, was that Aussie Rules yields excellent kickers, some of whom have gone on to play professional American football. Apparently the punters for both the Patriots and the Eagles began their careers playing Australian Rules Football. Who knew? (Certainly not me- a fact which the Australian boys were appauled that I didn't know.) How ignorantly American of me to find a sport's 1 redeeming quality to be its ability to produce quality American athletes. Oh well, sorry Australia. Perhaps I should start watching lawn bowling instead.